Trump means a decisive overriding factor or final resource. Today, Trump stands out as a proper noun that brings up gobs of negative and positive emotions in folks around the world...hope, pride, faith or anger, rage, and disgust…

I protect my emotional balance by not getting sucked into the pervasive media frenzy about Donald Trump. I see Trump's harshness and worry about the havoc he’s causing and feel disillusioned by the government, just like everyone else, but I stay disengaged.

My wife, by contrast, reads everything. She’s disgusted by Trump but still watches and reads about his antics. Yes, she has taken an overt political stand against Trump and rages against him like millions of others in our divided world.

I tell people that I owe Trump; he took the pressure off my relationship. My wife has turned her normal spousal anger away from me and towards the President of the United States. I’m honored and, she and I get along quite nicely now.

I’d like to talk about Trump’s human side, a perspective about what drives this manboy.

Our overriding motivation in life is to be happy and to not suffer any physical or emotional pain. This drive is complicated by our upbringing, what adults modeled when we were young, and the emotional scars we collected along the way.

Life is difficult and we all struggle to be sane, at points in our life. For some, it’s a continual battle.

Also, with our humanness comes a propensity for screwing up—we lash out with anger, get jealous or become frustrated and even hurt people; often the ones closest to us. We say and do things we later regret. These behaviors are all normal unless taken to the extreme.

The extreme negative behaviors are acted out by the bad boys and girls; Individuals like Trump, groups like the Neo-Nazi’s, ISIS, and the KKK— the haters who hurt others— people who may never have received love and learned to hate at an early age. Acting aggressively and hurting others became their sick way to be happy. Psychologically they display Narcissistic Personality Disorder and operate with this twisted world view.

With political or economic power, the monstrous leaders became the source of mass suffering around the globe and the cause for our current global crisis.

A simple for instance is Donnie; he gets mad at Carlos, punches him in the face and takes his wallet. Donnie gets temporary satisfaction because after all, Carlos deserved it for insulting him, and he has lots of money anyway.

In another case, Darnell does the same thing, but later he’s full of regret for his actions, makes amends, apologizes and gives the wallet back to Carlos. Darnell’s conscience has moved him back toward being happy.

Dictators and bullies never grow up; don’t develop the same conscience as Darnell. They’re stuck like Donnie on the idea that meanness is right is justified in this tough world. But the satisfaction is short-lived; Donnie soon moves on to Wanda and does similar hurtful things to her. He may gain money and infamy along the way. But people like Donnie miss the joy of being kind to someone or of just feeling empathy.

Donnie and thugs like him take what isn’t deserved; they lie and cheat their way through life harming others. He has to go from one punch to another and keep deceiving to get the hits of dopamine he needs to ease his mental anguish.

If we’re honest, we all have this potential (for ill will) in ourselves too, every man and woman.

But we don’t act on it! We don’t behave like Donnie.

Most of us, 7 plus billion people have consciences and are decent. Otherwise, a world apocalypse would have happened eons ago!

Excluding the extremist— the millions of people who form President Trumps “Base”, the people that believe in him are normal people. They are moms and dads who love their children, who have grief and pain and who just want to be happy. Not knowing about their lives, what they’re going through, how can I let myself hate them?

Trump’s personality, his divisiveness, most of his actions and his disregard for anyone except himself, angers me when I engage, and think about his negative actions.

We can be angry without letting hate and rage rule our emotional lives. I struggle with this, but it allows me to live with less fear, and more love, the animosity blinders are off and the shields are down—my way to keep sane. But I need to do more.

I fall short in avoiding difficult conversations, the ones necessary to be able to understand people with different views so that we both can heal. This means that I never open up and I don’t get to really understand the reasons for our political differences.

It’s a challenge to listen to understand, suspending judgments and then compromising to solve the problems we face.

I’m changing that starting today, by writing this article.

At the same time, I’m ready to pounce. I will do what I can to stop harmful acts as I encounter them. In the case of Donald Trump and politicians like him, I write letters about specific issues and I will march with the masses before the tipping point.

We need to act before our state of hate; divisiveness and isolation affect the well-being of everyone—before our shaky democracy is in more peril than currently. Do you want America to be led by a dictator, like Russia and Saudi Arabia? Started in 2015, a new paradigm of political discourse emerged and now it seems like anything can happen, and has!

Throughout the history of our country, in spite of our catastrophic mistakes, America has always been united and great!

The time has come to; make us and make America whole again.

Ray Regan is a grandfather and writer living in Chester County, Pa.
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